Severus Snape the boy who lived WHAT THE HECK!
by Chazz girl
Summary: Severus Snape wakes up in an alternate universe where he's the boy who lived! How will he survive a summer with the Dursley's or going back to hogwarts adn being famous? Maybe Slash
1. Begining

"NO!" A black haired boy shouted as he sat upright in his bed.

Panting, the boy wiped away the sweat from his head and looked around. _Where the bloody hell am I? _He thought. _This doesn't look anything like my bedroom..._ Groaning, he laid back down when the door opened. Glancing up, he saw a pudgy old man glaring at him.

"Severus get your lazy ass out of bed and make breakfast!" The man said angrily.

"Make your own breakfast," He said grumbling.

"What was that boy?!"

Severus cringed and quickly got up and went out realizing that it wouldn't be wise to go against the man. Going into the kitchen, he looked through the pantry. _Okay I'll make the fat man his breakfast,_ Severus thought. _Then I'll figure out where I am..."_

It only took him thirty minutes to make breakfast, but it took him twelve minutes to stare at his plate wondering where he was and why he was short, wand less, had a squeaky voice, and was with a fat man and his equally fat son as well as his bean stalk of a wife.

"Mother there is only thirty seven gifts," The fat son said pouting looking like he was at the verge of throwing a tantrum.

"How about we go buy you two extra gifts sweetie?" The bean stalk woman asked. "_Two_ gifts?"

"That'll make it.....thirty.....thirty..."

"Thirty nine sweetie."

"Hm....Thirty Nine.....good enough."

The bean stalk sighed in relief then smiled.

"So now for your birthday sweetie we're going to take you to the zoo!" She said happily. "And you can pick one of you little friends to come with you."

"Now to find Severus a babysitter," The fat man said.

_BABYSITTER?! I AM THIRTY FIVE YEARS OLD! I AM NOT A CHILD!_ Severus thought narrowing his eyes.

"But Mrs. Figg's broke her leg she can't watch the brat," The woman said. "And there is no one else to watch him....perhaps we could bring him with us and leave him in the car."

"The car is brand new I am not leaving him in there!" The man shouted.

Severus sunk in his seat. He felt like crap. They were talking about him as if he wasn't there! That's when he remembered something. _I heard Potter tell his trouble making friends before that he was treated like he wasn't there with his aunt and uncle...._Severus thought and sat up a bit. _I believe he called them Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia....they had a spoiled son name Dudley..._

"I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME WITH US!" Dudley 'cried' which brought Severus back to reality. "HE'LL RUIN IT! HE RUINS EVERYTHING!"

Looking at Dudley, he watched Petunia comfort her son when he noticed that he wasn't really crying. The fatter boy's face was just scrunched up and turning redder from his screaming. Staring at him, Severus narrowed his eyes seeing that Dudley was giving him a nasty glare. Before he could say something, there was a knock on the door.

"That should be Dudley's little friend!" Petunia said then walked towards the door.

Dudley stopped crying and looked angry instantly as his friend came into the room. Saying nothing, Severus looked at Dudley's friend. The boy reminded him of a skinnier Peter but had the same rat like face. Staring at him, he then looked up at Vernon who was giving him a glare. Vernon grabbed his arm and yanked him to the living room. Pushing him to a corner her glared at Severus.

"Look boy," He growled. "I'm warning you if you do anything funny I'll keep you in the cupboard until Christmas!"

"I won't," Severus said angrily.

"Don't take that tone with me boy!"

Vernon slapped him across the face then brought Severus out of the room. _This is going to be hell_ Severus thought. _I don't know how.....but....I switched places with POTTER!_

***

Severus sat there in the back of the car staring at the ground. He was still trying contemplating the fact he had switch lives with Potter. This meant he was now the 'boy who lived' and was living with the worst people ever.

"UGH! Hoodlums!" Vernon said. "Riding those motorcycles disgrace!"

"I had a dream about a motorcycle last night," Severus muttered recalling that other than the blinding green light he felt himself riding one. "It was flying."

The car almost crashed into the one in front of them.

"MOTOCYCLES DON'T FLY!" Vernon shouted angrily.

"I know," Severus said. "It was just a dream..."

Dudley and Pier started snickering at Severus who scowled a bit.

"What a freak," Pier whispered.

"Just as freaky as that stupid scar of his," Dudley said.

_Scar? Oh am I now honored to have the scar that the dark lord gave Harry Potter the boy who actually lived?_ Severus thought then rubbed his forehead and grumbled. _Oh joy. I have a freaky scar I am SO happy._ Soon the car stopped and everyone got out. They were at the zoo finally and Vernon had kept him by his side as if hoping that the boy wouldn't be noticed. Severus smiled slightly actually having fun. Though Dudley and his stupid friend did punch him now and then, he actually had fun watching the animals. Also he got very lucky as a smiling lady in a van asked him what ice cream he wanted before Petunia and Vernon could push him away. So what if it was a cheap lemon ice pop? At least he got some kind of ice cream.

"Hm...look at that," Severus whispered as he licked his ice pop staring at a gorilla. "It's Dudley's twin brother...."

Making sure that Dudley, Pier, Petunia, or Vernon could hear he looked back at the gorilla.

"You're the better looking one," He said. "You have a neck at least."

After a minute or two, they went to go eat...well.....The Dursley's and Pier did he just sat there. Dudley was upset that he didn't have enough ice cream (though Severus thought he had too much ice cream) and got more. Vernon however "accidentally" bumped into Severus making him drop his ice pop and wasn't allowed to get another one. Grumbling as he walked towards the snake room with the rest, he watched Dudley and Pier complain about how the snake wouldn't do much. Once they walked towards another snake, he walked towards the snake himself. Looking up at it he swore it winked at him.

"_I get that all the time,_" The snake said.

"_They are annoying aren't they?_" Severus whispered shocked the snake was speaking. "_So where are you from?_"

The snake pointed to the sign near the cage and Severus just stared at it. 'Brazil Snake, zoo born'.

"_So you've never seen Brazil?_" Severus asked.

"_Never...,_" The snake hissed.

"MR AND MRS. DURSLEY! DUDLEY! LOOK AT THE SNAKE!" Pier shouted.

Soon Pier and Dudley ran towards the snake pushing Severus down. Groaning when his back touched the hard ground, he looked up to see that the glass from the snake's area disappeared. The snake slithered out of the cage and winked at Severus.

"_Thanks little buddy_," The snake said then left.

A while later everyone was back in the car. Dudley and Pier were telling the story about how they were almost eaten alive by the snake that escaped. Severus did his best not to laugh at their story since the snake didn't even touch them.

"And freaky Sevy was talking to it!" Pier said.

There was silence.

"When we get home you go straight to your cupboard....stay there....no dinner," Vernon said.

**(Well how is it? I was just dying to write a story about how Severus was the boy who lived instead of Harry. It's fun....lol cool...NOW QUICK THING! I DO NOT OWN SNAPEY OR ANYONE HERE!)**


	2. Letters

It has now been a full week since the snake accident. Severus was now out of muggle school (which he had to endure for one week which wasn't so bad since they didn't do much) and now in summer break. Lying down on his bed in the cupboard, he let out a sigh. He hadn't realized that much things would be different from him and Harry. One fact was that he looked nothing like Harry except for the scar on his head. Another fact was that he, much to his displeasure, got a more girlish look that Potter and thought that for him instead of having his mothers eyes he was going to get stuck with his mothers looks and his father eyes.

"Bloody hell," He murmured. "At least I don't have my father's nose any more...but still....EYES WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER!"

Getting out of bed slowly, he walked out of the room and went into the kitchen. Taking a seat, he found out that they were refusing to give him food....again. Sighing, he heard a car stop then slowly start up again. Obviously the mail had came.

"Dudley go get the mail," Aunt Petunia said.

"Daddy I don't want to get the mail!" Dudley said. "Get girly Sevy to do it!"

"Severus go get the mail," Uncle Vernon said.

"Why should I?" Severus said.

"Dudley poke Severus with your smelting stick," Uncle Vernon continued.

Barley missing the stick, Severus quickly got up from the table and dashed towards the door. Going outside, he walked up towards the mailbox and opened it. Getting out all the mail he closed the mailbox and went back inside looking through the mail. That's when he noticed one of them was addressed to him.

Mr. S. Snape

The Cupboard under the Stairs

4 Privet Drive

Little W hinging

Surrey

Staring at the letter, he was about to open it when a shout came from the kitchen.

"HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A MAIL?!" The voice shouted. "GET IN HERE BOY!"

Grumbling, Severus walked into the kitchen and handed Uncle Vernon all the mail except his. Just as he was about to open it his dear new cousin Dudley spotted him and looked at Uncle Vernon.

"Daddy Severus has gotten mail!" He said.

"Give it to me boy!" Uncle Vernon shouted.

Handing it over quietly Severus watched Uncle Vernon ripped it open while Dudley smirked at him. For a while there was only silence as Uncle Vernon read the letter. His entire face turned purple and he showed Aunt Petunia who looked shocked.

"I want to read it father!" Dudley said angrily poking his father's head with his smelting stick.

"It's my letter I want to read it!" Severus said angrily not caring that he sounded a bit childish.

"OUT!" Uncle Vernon shouted. "OUT OUT OUT!"

Grabbing them both by the scruff of the neck, Uncle Vernon threw them out of the room and slam the door. The two boys started fighting over who would get to look through the key hole....Dudley won of course since Severus didn't have muscles and had a very small frame that Dudley easily crushed. Getting onto his knees, he gave Dudley a glare then crawled towards the door and laid down to listen through the crack in between the floor and the door.

"I can't believe they know where he sleeps!" Aunt Petunia whispered.

"They must watch the house," Uncle Vernon grumbled. "But we vowed that we would stamp out that dangerous nonsense out of him."

That evening Severus was in his cupboard laying on his bed. He was told to stay there after the mail incident so he did as he was told (it was either that or get hit). So during that time he just started to wonder about how his memories would be change. Being a potions teacher was fresh in his mind still but he also had a memory of himself perhaps five years old (Though since he wasn't fed a lot he could've been seven and just short) doing homework. He also had a memory of getting so excited of getting an A on a test but it was ripped to shreds after Dudley found out and demanded that no one could see it.

"I now know why Potter stays at Hogwarts so much," Severus grumbled. "This place is horrible no wonder he doesn't go home during the holidays."

Remembering past memories that he never recalled happening, he watched the door opened and saw Uncle Vernon come in.

"Where's my letter?" He asked quickly knowing that he'd get hurt for it.

"It was a mistake," Uncle Vernon said. "I burned it."

"IT WASN'T A MISTAKE IT WAS ADDRESSED TO ME! IT EVEN HAD MY CUPBOARD ON IT!"

"SILENCE!"

Severus fell silent then watched Uncle Vernon loosening his tie. _He must have just come back from work..._He thought.

"Well Severus....you appear to be getting too big for this cupboard...," He said. "Your aunt and I have been thinking that it would be nice if you move into Dudley's second bedroom."

Before he could ask a question Uncle Vernon gave him a glare.

"Take your stuff upstairs!" He said angrily.

Without another word, Severus got all his stuff (which wasn't much) and walked upstairs with Uncle Vernon. Opening the door to the second bedroom, Uncle Vernon pushed Severus in it then slam the door. Grumbling a bit, Severus put his stuff in the drawers and then noticed a bunch of broken toys and other objects.

"So this is where all his broken toys go," Severus said then saw a empty bird cage.

Trying hard to remember, Severus found a memory of Dudley getting a brightly colored bird then traded it for a air rifle. Glancing towards a shelf he saw the same air rifle that was bent because Dudley had sat on it. Snickering slightly, he started fixing up his new room finding that there were some entertaining memories.

***

The next morning, Severus woke up fast to the sound of the alarm clock. Quickly turning it off he got dressed then tiptoed downstairs. He knew for a fact that the mail would be coming around at this time so he could get a quick look at the letters. If he was lucky he would get another letter that Uncle Vernon didn't want him to see. _Almost there..._He thought then stepped on something squishy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A voice screamed.

"IT'S ALIVE!" Severus screamed scared.

It turns out that it was Uncle Vernon. He had slept at the front door in a sleeping bag as if he had an idea that Severus was coming. After a thirty minute shouting, Uncle Vernon sent Severus to make him tea. Sighing, Severus walked into the kitchen and started making the tea. Uncle Vernon then came back into the kitchen with six letters. Staring at him, Severus watched the fat man turn purple as he let out a loud scream. Glancing at one of the letters, Severus's eyes widen.

Mr. S Snape

The Smallest Bedroom

4 Privet Drive

Little W hinging

Surrey

"ANOTHER ONE! ANOTHER BLOODY ONE!" Uncle Vernon shouted then ripped them up.

Watching him rip it, Severus started to get curious. Before he asked a question Uncle Vernon shot him a glare that made him run upstairs to his bedroom.

A while later, Severus looked out the window of his bedroom and saw Uncle Vernon nailing the mailbox shut.

"What the bloody hell is he doing?" Severus asked then raised an eyebrow. "Is he....is he nailing the mailbox with a fruit cake?"

"Petunia there are some crazy folk out there who aren't as sane as the two of us are," Uncle Vernon said.

Staring at him for a second, Severus then closed the curtains and got into bed. _Okay....I felt bad for Potter before now I wonder if he's the only sane person here,_ Severus thought.

***

Weeks went by and they were still getting the letters. Uncle Vernon still refused to let Severus see ANY of them. After eating a very cold breakfast, Severus and Dudley were told to pack up because they were going out to stay at a hotel for a while. Severus laughed when Dudley got hit on the back of the head because he was trying to pack his TV and a computer.

A while later they were in a very depressing hotel. When they got a room, Severus had to share a bed with Dudley who snored loudly. Letting out a sigh, he fell asleep wondering.

**(this might be the longest series I have....again I don't own these peoples)**


	3. Here comes Hagrid

The next morning, Severus munched on a piece of toast finding himself daydreaming about his days as a potion master. Though those memories were rather hazy he smiled slightly as he recalled scaring children on their first day. However he was brought back to reality when someone knocked on the door. Looking up, he watched Uncle Vernon walk towards the door and opened it. There stood a man holding a letter. The man handed the letter to Uncle Vernon then left. Once the door closed, Uncle Vernon looked at the letter then ripped it up angrily and glared at them all.

"PACK YOU BAGS!" He shouted.

A while later everyone was going into a broken down house. Severus was sent straight to bed however which he had to share with Dudley. Sighing, he tried to fall asleep but couldn't as he heard a very loud foot steps. Not enjoying the sound, Severus was about to just stick his head under his pillow when he heard the door open. Him and Dudley jumped at when they heard this and dashed to the front.

Uncle Vernon was standing there already with what appeared to be a rifle in his hands that was pointing at a very large man. Shivering, Severus wondered what to do. That's when he noticed the man seemed very familiar but he couldn't put his tongue on it.

"How about yeh make me a cup of tea," The man said and looked towards Severus. "AHH! There's Severus!"

Still shivering rather fiercely, Severus stared up at the giant man who was smiling gently at him. The man was extremely familiar and it was going to annoy him like crazy.

"Yeh look like your mother but got your fathers eyes," The man said smiling. "At least you ain't got you fathers big ugly nose so that must a blessing on yeh little guy!"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Uncle Vernon shouted.

"Oh quiet yeh old prune."

Walking towards the couch, the giant man took a seat on it which made it bend in the middle. Staring at him, Severus started to calm down and smile slightly.  
"Ah yes....I got summat for yeh birthday I missed so many," The giant said. "Yeh still are ten correct? Yeh will be eleven on January the ninth right?"

"Er...yes...," Severus said thinking that it was right.

"Well I got yeh summat.'

The giant stood up and looked through his pockets then pulled out a box. Flipping the lid off, the giant put it on the table so Severus could get a good look of it. In the box was a sticky chocolate cake with 'Happy Birthday Severus' in green icing.

"Er...T-thank you...," He said nervously. "But....who are you?"

The giant man chuckled then gently rubbed Severus's head.

"True I have told yeh about me," The man said. "Me name is Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts! Now weren't yeh about to make me some tea? Ah well I'll make it meself."

Hagrid got up from the couch then walked towards the fire place. Watching the giant get out a tea pot, Severus stared at the ground. _Hagrid....I can barely remember him..._Severus thought. _Though I've known him ever since I started Hogwarts....but....I haven't really started Hogwarts now have I..._Standing there in deep thought, the smell of sausages filled the room and got him out of his thoughts. Hagrid smiled at him as he slid six fat, slightly burnt, sausages onto a plate. Glancing at Dudley, Severus saw him fidget and watched Uncle Vernon say something to the fat boy.

"Yer great pudding of a son doesn't need to get fatter!" Hagrid laughed then sat by a table. "Come ere Severus."

Sitting across from the giant, Severus slowly started to eat and smiled. Never since he's been with the Dursley's had he ever had good food...or much food for that matter. Dudley usually ate everything he wanted and even puked because of doing so.

"Er....Hagrid?" Severus asked nervously as he took another bite from his sausage. "I'm confused...what's....Hogwarts?"

There was silence and Hagrid glared at the Dursley's that made them all jump. _Hogwarts....I....can barely remember it! _Severus thought getting a bit worried. _It's getting all hazy..._

"S-Sorry?" Severus said nervously.

"THEY SHOULD BE SORRY!" Hagrid shouted. "I KNEW YEH WASN'T GETTING LETTERS BUT NOT KNOWING ABOUT HOGWARTS?! DIDN'T YOU WONDER WHERE YOUR MOTHER LEARNED IT ALL?!"

"Learned what?"

"LEARNED WHAT?!"

Hagrid jumped up from the table and glared at the Dursley's.

"YOU MEAN HE KNOWS NOTHING?!" He said aggravated.

"I do know Math and Science...," Severus said. "And other stuff too..."

"About _my _world I mean your _mother's_ world I mean...._your_ world...Our world Severus!"

"What world?"

Hagrid looked like he was going to kill the Dursley's (though Severus was all for it) then looked at him.

"The wizard world Severus," Hagrid said. "Yer a wizard! That's why yeh got accepted to Hogwarts!"

Hagrid showed Severus a letter who opened it fast. Looking at the paper, he read it eagerly then smiled brightly. He was going to see Hogwarts the place that seemed so foggy in his mind. Glancing up at Hagrid, he watched the giant write down on a note and hand it to a owl. It flew away and then Hagrid looked back at him.

"He's not going!" Uncle Vernon shouted.

"Like a muggle like yeh can do anything about it!" Hagrid laughed.

"LOOK! We vowed when we took him in we'd stamp out the fact he's a wizard!"

"YOU KNEW I WAS A WIZARD?!" Severus shouted.

"_KNEW?_ OF COURSE WE KNEW!" Aunt Petunia shouted. "WHEN MY BROTHER GOT MARRIED TO THAT WITCH OUR PARENTS WOULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! They kept on saying Tobias this! Tobias that! They didn't know the true fact about the woman he married! She was a freak! They were also excited when you were born you brat! Both of them wanted to hug you so badly because they had a wizard relative now! Oh how they droned on how cute you were and even ignore poor Dudley! Though I don't see anything cute about you I mean it's shocking your straight! But OH that Eileen witch's magic didn't save them from being blown up! "

Severus didn't know what to comment on, the fact Aunt Petunia thought he was gay or the fact that about him being a wizard. _She thinks I'm gay..._Severus thought then looked confused. _Wait...I always knew about being a wizard...Great I'm possibly thinking like Potter at the moment....god damn it..._

"I thought they died in a car crash," Severus whispered recalling a memory where they said they died in a car accident.

"LIKE A CAR ACCIDENT COULD KILL ELIEEN!" Hagrid roared. "Severus let me tell yeh the actual story! Nine years ago when yeh were only one a great wizard came....his name was....was...er...well....Voldemort. Now we call him He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name so please refer to him as that it still brings fear to many. Now...it was Halloween when he came straight to yer house. He knocked on yer door and when yer father opened the door he killed him. Then, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name went upstairs and saw your mother trying to protect you. She begged him to kill her instead of yeh and....he granted the wish. When she died....he tried to kill yeh but it backfired and killed himself. I doubt he actually died though. A thing like him can't die that easily. Though he did manage to give you that scar of yer"

Severus stared at Hagrid and then rubbed his scar. _I'm getting Potter's life..._He thought. _The night where Voldemort killed his parents happened to me...._He didn't know that Potter's life wasn't glamorous and was like hell. Potter may be a celebrity in the wizard world but his story is more heartbreaking to him then anyone may realize. Feeling depressed, Severus was about to say something else when Hagrid gently put his hand on his head.

"Yeh the only one who ever survived the curse," Hagrid said. "Yeh an amazing wizard Severus."

"But....I can't be a wizard...," He whispered.

"Not a wizard? What about those times you ever got angry?"

Severus thought for a second and had memories of being chased by Dudley's gang then getting out of their reach. There was also a time where he had to go to school with a horrible hair cut that was almost a buzz cut except for his bangs to cover his scar. The next day his hair grew back after worrying about it the night before.

"Yeh are a wizard Severus," Hagrid repeated.

"I AM NOT ALLOWING HIM TO GO TO THAT SCHOOL!" Uncle Vernon said.

"Come on Severus time to sleep that way we can get yer stuff tomorrow."

**(Lol I'm happy....I'M GOING TO CONTINUE IT! Own no one here peeps.) **


End file.
